Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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