Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
