I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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