The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
