You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
