Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
