i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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