what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
