We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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