you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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