he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need to calm my uterus...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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