I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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