and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
