i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
