i barfeds in our rink
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
