best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
