someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
