Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
