They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
