I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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