new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
