apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
