Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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