If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
