Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
