Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize