no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
