well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
