Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
