roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
