the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
