Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
even my farts smell like vagina
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
