All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
