i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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