I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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