i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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