haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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