Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
