Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
