oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Duck Duck Cougar?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
