That's intense
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
