I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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