Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
