I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
