Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
