You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
