Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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