Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
