dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
