I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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