I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's blow job season.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
