Porn is love you can see.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
