Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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