Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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