You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
