i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
