he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
