As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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