just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and i looked up. we had an audience...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
