I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
smell my finger.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Randomize
